To everybody who just happened to stumble across this space of the internet when you really want to just see a cat video (somebody try and explain why CATS are taking over cause I am a victim), wanted a recipe or was just really bored. But you are here and so I am so let's have a conversation. A Dialogue. Not so much of Di but a Mono. So monologue.
Hi, your name, how are you? Oh good that's nice to know. You just graduated from college. Congratulations. I'm so happy for you. (Note: I'm not a college graduate. Sour subject. I've just decided I am done with education) How's your day been? Good? Yeah. Excellent. Oh me? Well I'm feeling like shit today. My day started with a text from this guy I've been seeing for a while at 2-ish. Don't worry, this is not another blog post about "my relationship". Well actually it could be. It's about my relationship with myself. Maybe. I haven't figured this post out yet, like me, so let's discover and explore it, Shall we?
2-ish AM, a text, I'm too sleepy to write back so I call him. We speak for a while, he goes to sleep in an hour, I couldn't go back to sleep. I had a good rest so I just watched YouTube (which I do all the time, check out my channel) and play PACMAN (which I do all the time as well). I'm in my safety zone of internet.
6-ish AM, I'm hungry. I go get myself some food. Going back to put my plate back cause I'm that kind of person, I notice a package for me. It's a book I had order "My Drunk Kitchen" by my favorite Hannah Hart, a YouTube famous personality and cooking show host on YouTube, "My Drunk Kitchen" and now the author of "My Drunk Kitchen". I'm all excited to open the package to have my personal copy of the book. But my mom sees the package with me and goes, let me see the package why did the package cost so much and just spreading all kind of negativity towards it, Okay you might think this book is expensive. I'm a fan I have no problem paying how much affordable from your (mom's) pocket (I'm unemployed). (felt like I was being bullied).
Back story, I had already told my mom how much it totaled to, she said I could get it I got four other books I told her the total cost I wouldn't have got it if she didn't let me. My problem with this situation is my friends why is she a) being rude b) ruining somebody's happy moment yes? Makes sense? Good.*
Now back to two days ago, when I told my mom my "decision" about pursuing my childhood dream of being an "engineer". My decision being that it's not my dream anymore. I want to pursue film, photography, art, YouTube and writing. And if none of that works I will pursue my education at my own expense. Obvious initial reaction, "Oh you are ruining your career", "Life is NOT just about happiness", "You had such high expectations for yourself, look at where you are now", "It's a BIG mistake", "If not engineering do another degree", "Three years is not a lot of time", "This might work in other countries but it is not for India" and YADA, YADA, YADA.
*c) You won't treat me good just because I am not doing what you think is right?
Now let's analyze my situation before I told my mom, I was freaking out, panicking, all the anxiety in the world, just to hear the words, "DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY" cause let's face is it, at the end of the day, we all need our parents approval. I was scared. I'm 20years old (21 in 3 months) and I was scared to tell my mom what's in my heart.
And then I started thinking, we have never had a real time conversation about anything, anything that matters at least. We don't have this stream of communication open that is why it was so hard for me to tell my mom what I want to do. And that is sad. If any of you are parents and are wondering why your kid doesn't tell you stuff why don't you start the communication. We need it. But we will never reach out cause we are more scared of you than comfortable with you. Not cause we are doing anything wrong just cause being vulnerable to your parents is not easy. With siblings, it is natural to be vulnerable. So if anything talk to your kids tell them you love them, cause not every kid is grown enough to take control of the relationship. The last thing I want to do is make my parents look bad so this isn't about how my parents are. I just want to get the message across 'Communicate with your kids', 'Support them', 'Give them hugs', 'Don't judge them' and 'Tell them you love them'. If you are a kid I have nothing to say to you cause I am just a kid too. Also if you are a parent and have anything to tell me leave it in the comments or email me: pushyac5@gmail.com. I am all ears. Thank you.
HAVE A GREAT DAY FOLKS!!
-Pushya C
Hi, your name, how are you? Oh good that's nice to know. You just graduated from college. Congratulations. I'm so happy for you. (Note: I'm not a college graduate. Sour subject. I've just decided I am done with education) How's your day been? Good? Yeah. Excellent. Oh me? Well I'm feeling like shit today. My day started with a text from this guy I've been seeing for a while at 2-ish. Don't worry, this is not another blog post about "my relationship". Well actually it could be. It's about my relationship with myself. Maybe. I haven't figured this post out yet, like me, so let's discover and explore it, Shall we?
2-ish AM, a text, I'm too sleepy to write back so I call him. We speak for a while, he goes to sleep in an hour, I couldn't go back to sleep. I had a good rest so I just watched YouTube (which I do all the time, check out my channel) and play PACMAN (which I do all the time as well). I'm in my safety zone of internet.
6-ish AM, I'm hungry. I go get myself some food. Going back to put my plate back cause I'm that kind of person, I notice a package for me. It's a book I had order "My Drunk Kitchen" by my favorite Hannah Hart, a YouTube famous personality and cooking show host on YouTube, "My Drunk Kitchen" and now the author of "My Drunk Kitchen". I'm all excited to open the package to have my personal copy of the book. But my mom sees the package with me and goes, let me see the package why did the package cost so much and just spreading all kind of negativity towards it, Okay you might think this book is expensive. I'm a fan I have no problem paying how much affordable from your (mom's) pocket (I'm unemployed). (felt like I was being bullied).
Back story, I had already told my mom how much it totaled to, she said I could get it I got four other books I told her the total cost I wouldn't have got it if she didn't let me. My problem with this situation is my friends why is she a) being rude b) ruining somebody's happy moment yes? Makes sense? Good.*
Now back to two days ago, when I told my mom my "decision" about pursuing my childhood dream of being an "engineer". My decision being that it's not my dream anymore. I want to pursue film, photography, art, YouTube and writing. And if none of that works I will pursue my education at my own expense. Obvious initial reaction, "Oh you are ruining your career", "Life is NOT just about happiness", "You had such high expectations for yourself, look at where you are now", "It's a BIG mistake", "If not engineering do another degree", "Three years is not a lot of time", "This might work in other countries but it is not for India" and YADA, YADA, YADA.
*c) You won't treat me good just because I am not doing what you think is right?
Now let's analyze my situation before I told my mom, I was freaking out, panicking, all the anxiety in the world, just to hear the words, "DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY" cause let's face is it, at the end of the day, we all need our parents approval. I was scared. I'm 20years old (21 in 3 months) and I was scared to tell my mom what's in my heart.
And then I started thinking, we have never had a real time conversation about anything, anything that matters at least. We don't have this stream of communication open that is why it was so hard for me to tell my mom what I want to do. And that is sad. If any of you are parents and are wondering why your kid doesn't tell you stuff why don't you start the communication. We need it. But we will never reach out cause we are more scared of you than comfortable with you. Not cause we are doing anything wrong just cause being vulnerable to your parents is not easy. With siblings, it is natural to be vulnerable. So if anything talk to your kids tell them you love them, cause not every kid is grown enough to take control of the relationship. The last thing I want to do is make my parents look bad so this isn't about how my parents are. I just want to get the message across 'Communicate with your kids', 'Support them', 'Give them hugs', 'Don't judge them' and 'Tell them you love them'. If you are a kid I have nothing to say to you cause I am just a kid too. Also if you are a parent and have anything to tell me leave it in the comments or email me: pushyac5@gmail.com. I am all ears. Thank you.
HAVE A GREAT DAY FOLKS!!
-Pushya C
